Friday, June 19, 2009

Today in history

Early in the morning on this date in 1984, I began making telephone calls to get the word out about the arrival on the scene of two persons subsequently christened Alice Elizabeth Marian McIntyre and John Paul Lucien McIntyre.*

Today, a quarter-century later, Alice teaches Latin at the Garrison Forest School, and J.P., an aspiring food writer, publishes the blog Eat Drink Man Weblog.**

No man has been more fortunate in his children.

And I, dear reader, will be neglecting you today as I mark this momentous date with my family. You’re welcome to look in at Craig Silverman’s Regret the Error site, where he has published a short article of mine on how publications make corrections. It is the first of a series of contributions to that Web site.

*My colleagues at The Cincinnati Enquirer, learning that Kathleen was expecting twins, helpfully put together a list of a hundred or so paired names, among them Minneapolis and St. Paul.

**I commend to you his excellent pot roast and kale.


  1. As one of those telephoned on the momentous occasion, I extend hearty congratulations to the whole family. I do recall that the proud but stunned papa, momentarily deprived of his customary language skills, was reduced to gibbering.

    And re: JP's pot roast and kale, I quote the only two memorable lines from my February 2003 "Ode to Kale": "All hale to kale, that hearty vittle!/Its worth is great, it is not little!" With the characteristic carelessness of exceedingly minor poets everywhere, I seem to have mislaid the complete text--but it's probably just as well.

  2. Congratulations, Professor McIntyre!

    John Paul has been posting on the D@L blog, as Junior McIntyre, complete with cardboard bowtie (his words).

  3. Mazel tov! Enjoy your well-deserved respite. I didn't know J.P. is a twin. I guess that makes it even more fun. (And double congratulations to you for resisting the temptation to rhyme or alliterate their names, as parents of twins are often wont to do—Derrick and Danielle? Carrie and Barry? Give me a break.)

    However, something just happened to me about which I must post today, before I forget what happened. Ever since The Sun laid you off, I've been planning to cancel my subscription. Nowhere on the Web site does it give an option to cancel. I suppose I could have written a letter, but I needed immediate gratification. So this morning, I called the toll-free number and spoke with a CS rep named Phoebe. When she asked me why I wanted to cancel, I truncated my explanation* and said, "Because you fired John McIntyre."
    Phoebe: "What?...John McIntyre?"
    Robin: "Yes, I don't know if you knew about the layoffs, but—"
    Phoebe: "Oh, I'm so sorry, ma'am, we cannot do that for you; we can only cancel in the case of a customer service problem or content" >>CLICK!<<

    Of course, it is a content complaint: I was about to explain that without you, the content quality is dreck. The abrupt hangup was more than I could take. This is why I'm venting here.

    *My real reason is that they laid you off and kept another whiny, simpering dolt of a writer whose name I won't mention, but let's just say she should quit whining about how hard modern woman's life is and stick to gardening.