John McIntyre, whom James Wolcott calls "the Dave Brubeck of the art and craft of copy editing," writes on language, editing, journalism, and other manifestations of human frailty. Comments welcome. Identifying his errors relieves him of the burden of omniscience. Write to jemcintyre@gmail.com, befriend at Facebook, or follow at Twitter: @johnemcintyre. Back 2009-2012 at the original site, http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/news/mcintyre/blog/ and now at www.baltimoresun.com/news/language-blog/.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Jobs not to be touched with a bargepole

You might think that, eight months out of work and two and a half months past the end of severance pay, I would snap at just about any possible job. You would be wrong. Here is some of what is out there, served up on listings I’ve signed up for.

Video Game Tester - Xbox Wii Playstation PC - Needed Immediately - Make Up To $30/Hour!

I played one game of Space Invaders one night in a bar, maybe in 1980. I’m out of the demographic.

Writers wanted for academic writing
We are interested in writers with prior experience in academic writing (essays, term papers, research papers, etc.).


College kids should write their own damn term papers.

WORK WITH BILLION DOLLAR COMPANY. Make $5000/Mo. Online...Part Time. Proven System, Huge Company

$5,000 a month for just typing some things into the Internet for a couple of hours a day. Older readers may recall classified ads in the back of magazines telling readers they could make big bucks stuffing envelopes at home; this appears to be the contemporary version.

FREE GOVERNMENT MONEY. Make 5k/Month Working From Home. Limited Positions

Uh-huh. This one looks to be a variation on the previous one.

The money-laundering scheme

The offer, deleted pretty much as soon as it landed in my computer, told me that all I needed to do was sit at home for a couple hours a day to receive foreign money transfers in my bank account and ship them to another one.

I suppose that becoming a guest of the state would solve the problem of my upkeep, but I hear that the food is terrible.

“Editor”

That was the title anyhow.

Requirement: a high school diploma.

11 comments:

  1. The Marines are looking for a few good men.

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  2. Be especially wary if the word editor is in quotes.

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  3. My Syntax textbook appears to be in need of an editor. I could barely get through the first chapter because of how many missing punctuation marks and other annoying typos I found.

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  4. Congratulations, John, you appear have exhausted every listing on The Sun's website! :(

    Sadly, if it wasn't for scams there be NO jobs to post at all.

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  5. No doubt that posting for an "Editor" with a high school diploma was probably for some local edition of a major metropolitan daily that belongs to a big corporation with headquarters and news modules produced elsewhere. And the position is likely an unpaid internship for credit too.

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  6. The least Craig's List could do for laid off reporters and editors is provide them cushy jobs.

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  7. The only job listings I can find for "writer," other than the term paper ones, involve posting fake product reviews and comments on websites.

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  8. The scam you label as "The Money Laundering Scheme" is actually a fake check scam. You are asked to deposit checks from "customers" and then forward the money via Western Union to the Company in another Country (keeping a generous commission.) A few days later your bank informs you that the checks were not valid - of course the money you sent is not retrievable. As an added bonus, the bank might report you to the police for cashing the fake checks.

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  9. The least Craig's List could do for laid off reporters and editors is provide them cushy jobs.

    You haven't seen the "erotic services" section of Craigslist? Lots of people offering cushy jobs...

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  10. Before we completely trash the craigslist job postings, let me add that I've recently talked to three people who now have good (read steady, living wage) jobs with reputable companies that they found advertising there.
    You just have to get at the listings early every morning with, as Jack Kerouac said, "the persistence of a bennie addict." The good jobs come on quick and go off quick; the trash lingers.

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  11. To be clear, none of the jobs mentioned in the post came from Craigslist.

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