John McIntyre, whom James Wolcott calls "the Dave Brubeck of the art and craft of copy editing," writes on language, editing, journalism, and other manifestations of human frailty. Comments welcome. Identifying his errors relieves him of the burden of omniscience. Write to jemcintyre@gmail.com, befriend at Facebook, or follow at Twitter: @johnemcintyre. Back 2009-2012 at the original site, http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/news/mcintyre/blog/ and now at www.baltimoresun.com/news/language-blog/.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Is that a demon at the door?

Thanks to @word_czar on Twitter, I have had the opportunity to read what the Rev. Kimberly Daniels of Jacksonville, Florida, has to say about the dangers of Halloween. It is, she asserts, a pagan witch festival, a day devoted to Lucifer. Halloween candy has been prayed over by witches. Opening the door to trick-or-treaters invites demons into your house. There are things going on tonight beneath your awareness:

Sex with demons
Orgies between humans and animals
Animal and human sacrifices
Sacrificing babies to shed innocent blood
Rape and molestation of adults, children and babies
Revel nights
Conjuring of demons and casting of spells
Release of “time-released” curses against the innocent and the ignorant


(Revel nights? Revelry?)

Though you might have expected this to be the work of those scamps at The Onion, the Charisma Web site on which this article appears does not seem to be a satirical production. We are evidently meant to take this straight.

Therefore I will have to check back in a couple of months to see the Rev. Mrs. Daniels expose the Luciferian nature of Christmas.

Baby Jesus almost certainly did not enter the world on December 25 (or at Bethlehem, but that’s a different argument); the early Church appropriated the pagan solstice festival of the Unconquered Sun (Sol Invictus) for itself. And everyone knows, or should be warned, that the Christmas tree, popularized in the English-speaking world by Prince Albert, Queen Victoria’s German consort, is a relic of Teutonic tree-worship. You know that nasty things went on in those forests.

The Old One has his snares everywhere. (Could it be that Beelzebub planted this very article to make Christianity look ridiculous?) Watch your step.

7 comments:

  1. This country is stuffed with imbeciles today. Less than 40% of us believe in evolution, but almost 70% believe in angels and demons. Time to lay off the Twinkies.

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  2. i got a tract in my door today warning of the evils of halloween. part of it pointed out how more is spent on halloween than on christmas. (a) i don't know whether that's true, and it probably isn't. (b) i thought the commercialization of christmas was a bad thing... but now they want people to outspend halloween to make christmas look better? hmm.

    then it goes on to say how candy is the devil, paganism is evil and to be hated, etc., and then i lost interest.

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  3. the early Church appropriated the pagan solstice festival of the Unconquered Sun (Sol Invictus) for itself.
    And what does Lucifer mean? I think that proves your point quite nicely.

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  4. Hallowe'en seems to me a pain in the neck, and trick-or-treating an unpleasant business.

    I didn't know about the sex with demons: that does sound a bit more interesting.

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  5. By all reports, demons as sexual partners are cold, in both senses of the term. And it hurts.

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  6. Please pass the Hershey's - with almonds if possible.

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  7. These dangers are real and appropriately best illustrated in the LEGO Bible:

    http://www.thebricktestament.com/the_law/the_occult/lv19_26.html

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